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People with larger social circles and more close friends also tend to have higher levels of self-esteem, which in turn gives them a greater feeling of control in their life.This in turn makes you more likely to take care of your health than someone who feels like they’re helpless to improve. Someone you can share deep and personal parts of your life with? As we grew up, we had our best friends, other boys around our age who were as close with as brothers might ever be. Being seen as being too close with somebody meant that you weren’t friends, it meant that at least I’m not being hyperbolic when I say that this lack of intimacy hurts us. When you’re feeling like you need to offload something. In fact, men – especially heterosexual white men – tend to have few deep, emotional connections with other men. The strange thing is, it didn’t used to be this way. In fact, having an intimate friendship with another boy became undesirable, a mark of suspicion.
People who you thought were your friends may pull back because they can’t handle that level of openness and honesty.
Weakness and vulnerability can only be shown to those who are not in a position to damage our status in the masculine hierarchy. And to be sure: to an outside observer (or a significant other, for that matter) many platonic male-female relationships can seem like an intensely romantic connection, even when they’re nothing of the sort. But even then, it’s transitory, even suspect at best, because straight men “inevitably” want to sleep with their female friends. complete with the same prohibitions against masculine affection).
As a result: we aren’t able to other men enough to open up to them.
It takes a surprising amount of courage to open up and reach out to other men – after all, it requires fighting against years of social coding and gender expectations.
By trying to foster a more intimate bond with somebody, you’re tacitly making yourself vulnerable and admitting to weaknesses, which is part of how men lose status amongst other men.
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Even in movies that acknowledge that yes, there are other forms of love besides romantic love, guys can only admit to loving when it’s played for comedy. No homo, bro.” demonstrative and affectionate with one another.